As I sip my morning cup of coffee, I pick up the paper. In it I read a manifesto of a party, then I check for the date on the paper and it isn’t april 1st . My heart still feeling the fibrillating excitement it always feels when it is just about to discover something/someone really stupid, I decided to read on. And voila!! Samajwadi party makes my day.
Their manifesto not only makes bold claims to blow India’s ass back to the B.Cs but also does it without anticipating it. We don’t need time travel, just vote samajwadi party and good times will be had(unless you want to travel to the future).
To be honest I realy don’t care about voting, not that I am really sad over the whole political scenario and have lost all hope but mostly because personally i feel it wouldn’t affect me if either party ruled(when has it mattered anyways).
Also the cock faces who say 100% voting is the way to a good and fair government don’t realize a simple thing. At the most only 30% of the population is educated enough to make an educated choice over a party’s manifesto , rest all votes go for as cheap as 100 bucks or a square meal. 100% voting won’t solve anything, so please stop forcing down all that jaagore.com propaganda down my throat. Plus those 30% realize that the agendas really are not that substantial and wouldn’t really affect them anyways. But for now I find none of the parties with a good enough agenda so I don’t care about the vote(really sorry to disappoint the ‘lets vote and make a change’ youth)
Now getting back to the manifesto-
Here are the key "promises" made by Samajwadi Party's Poll Manifesto:
1) Put a ban on English Medium Education
2) Remove English language as a medium from all offices and education institutions
Actually that would be kind of cool, I mean think about it, just for the heck of it.
Asal main ye kaafi thanda hoga, soch ke dekhiye, bas aise hi…
Nah… not really working…. Out.
3) Remove all computers from offices and institutes.
…..and then?? Are you proposing human beings deliver e-mail or are you going to employ people to physically put things in the bin. Hell forget this, what about all the porn, are you going to employ people for that too……,
nah…….out.
4) Ban the use of machinery in agriculture. Tractors will be replaced by bullock carts.
Hmmm atleast this will give Maneka Gandhi something to bitch about
5) NO to share trading and stock market operations.
Hmmmm so no more surviving in the market, guess its time to sell magic beans,flying carpets and essences to foreigners again .
6) Take actions against high corporate salaries.
Better yet, take way their cars and give them those bullock carts, I can imagine it right now, complete Mumbai-pune highway flooded with bullock carts and gassy bullocks,sweeeet……..
7) Mall culture will be stopped.
Aaah I guess its ok, they don’t have bullock cart parking anyways.
8) The salaries provided by private companies should be at par with the minimum wages for labourers.
Thwack, homerun!!
9) Improve relations with Pakistan and Bangladesh.
Lets get down on our knees and suck their balls already, why the fucking wait!!!
10) Action against communal powers and attack terrorism at its roots.
I have always wondered how wonderfuland simple a sentence becomes when you use the word ‘root’.
11) Unemployment Allowance Scheme for unemployed youth.
I am guessing this will be from tax payers money, but if we are suppose to get minimum wage and ride bullock carts how much tax would we be able to really pay.
I guess we can always pay in bullocks.
12) Welfare schemes for lawyers and the business community.
Aww.. you care? But why??
I know nowadays it's really hard not to look stupid , but come on. By the way check out sanju baba’s face in the pic, doesn’t he look clueless. And with this I have finished my coffee.
Vote samajwadi party, just for the heck of it…
