A SHAVING CREAM A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY

So yesterday I was out to get me some quarterly supply of shaving cream . I was walking down the aisle and I noticed a plethora of products in fancy packing, but the funny thing was that I didn’t realize that they were all shaving creams and you know why I didn’t realize it , cos most of them had some fruit extracts in it. Yeah that’s right, now I am standing there staring at the shaving cream with the mango extract . I was wondering where did my regular plain old shaving cream go ? And at that exact moment I felt it all , a complete jackass standing in an aisle in his shorts with an empty basket trying to shop for fruity shaving creams .

I don’t know what is this sick impulsion people have of putting fruit into everything, I mean I always knew a little bit of lemon was always there in each product but it was strictly as an essence , and now here we have apple extract face wash, mango extract sunscreen, aloe extract hand wash, jojoba extract cleanser , jojoba extract cleanser!!! I don’t even know what the hell is a jojoba supposed to be !!! whenever I see jojoba I figure it to be some exotic fruit from some African jungle with mystical powers. I felt as if I was in my house for too long and the world changed around me. Why did they have to go so far as to messing with the men’s shaving cream ? And since I for one am a rebel won’t ever use anything with fruit extracts. One of these things had everything,jojoba,avocado,mango,apple…, I wasn’t sure whether to shave with it or eat it with a box of cereals. Oh and ya mind you , I was standing in the men’s section and not the women’s by mistake.

Their commercials are also kinda yummy, I mean all that cream and strawberries and choclate really gets an appetite going . And don’t even get me started on the whole issue of fairness cream. If it’s so natural then why should it change the natural colour of my skin? Anyways I was pissed off mostly cos they decided to fruit up my shaving gel .So I just picked up a Palmolive and got the hell out of there.

But when I came back home and was washing up I noticed something I had never noticed before. It was my shampoo , it had some extracts of its own. I generally don’t look at the shampoo at home , if something is kept on the shelf I use it. But besides the extracts in the shampoo I saw something aggressive written on it.



Yeah that’s right, “ dangerously straight” and after I used it I found my hair to be “ dangerously okay”. Yup nothing happened , it wasn’t so dangerously pin straight that I start looking like a goth. So I asked this management guy who sits next to me in the office that what’s up with this viral marketing with fruits, why aren’t we eating them if they are so nutritious? So then he tells me about the whole blue ocean strategy. This basically says there’s a red and a blue ocean , red’s for the competitive products and blue is for unique products with qualities no one else has.
Now my hair is supposed to smell like almonds, my face like a mango and hands like a peach. Makes you a damn freak I tell you. I don’t know what to expect in my next quarterly visit to replenish my supply, a pasta flavored skin cream with cantelope extract?? Seriously guys these kinda things may cause seizures or something or atleast make you gay.
NOTE: If you watch Grey’s anatomy or Friends then you are already in an advanced stage of using these products . I will pray for you.

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