FUN / ANNOYING / WEIRD THINGS TO DO WHEN BORED AT THE OFFICE

1. Walk into an elevator with people , stand and face towards one of the corners and sigh every 5 seconds

2. Wait at the top floor for the elevator and then when it comes ask whether it is going up, when they laugh, say softly with a sheepish smile “only I know about the extra floor I guess”.

3. Call up reception from your neighbor’s desk and ask her to call out for Mr Ulasion , first name Jack.

4. Pretend to dodge invisible bullets.

5. Always leave a printout from your PC in bold letters saying “ I know what you did last night” at the common printer on the floor.

6. While working on your PC shout “oh no , they are on to me” and then get up and run frantically.

7. Say “I am in” and then type really fast without looking at your neighbour, suddenly pause , press enter and say “3..2..1…, whoa! I will never have to work again!”

8. Refer to yourself in the third person for one whole day.

9. Make your office supplies fight with each other.

10. Play the star wars music on your PC whenever you get up from your desk.

11. Look suspicious the entire day, and when asked why , say softly “easy,they can hear you”.

12. Start a conversation about girl friends, and when asked about yours , say , “ like you guys, mine’s also beautiful but also inflatable”.

13. Get a clap switch for your desk lights and then act all king like .

14. Draw a picture of a baby stabbing a lil white bunny with a kitchen knife and pin it up on your desk. On being asked say your 8 year old son made this because he wants to be a doctor when he grows up. Insist on an Awww.....

15. When in a crowded lift, say the floor numbers out loud when they pass by.

16. Get a gerbil and release it in the AC ducts.

17. Get up and pet the office plant in the corner and then return to your table.

18. Give an internet applause (tapping your finger gently on keyboard) and say yayyyy…. every time you finish with a download.

19. If you have a chair that spins then spin yourself and pretend to shoot a double barreled gun with your fingers. After coming to a stop blow the nozzle and say “mind it”.

20. Talk like the “rainman” the entire day.

21. Make a voodoo doll of your boss and pretend to do black (or African American) magic.

22. Read your company policy backwards and claim to have found hidden satanic messages.

23. When in a meeting sit way back , wear one of those big foam fingers showing “NO.1” and look seriously at your colleague giving a presentation. Later tell him , “that’s not the finger I was actually holding up”.

24. Pretend going to meetings as going to a movie theatre. Ask for drinks, insist for an usherer , whistle in between, claim you are bored and ask for your money back.

25. Before you get off the phone with a co-worker ask, “should I super-size that order” or “would you like fries with that”.

Branica Counters

GADGETS I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE

The other day I was on YouTube and I watched a video of Microsoft's future endeavour in technology in gadgets. What they showed was quite good, for eg. a graphical interface telling you what you looking at and many more things. But this really doesn't fascinate me much . I like gadgets which  really make a hell lot of difference in my life.
But before I tell you about the gadgets I would like to have, you should probably know a few things about me.
I am a kinda guy who doesn't really like to be around people much. Forced socialising is not my cup of tea. I can't plaster a fake smile on my face and pretend to be interested in what you are saying. Chances are I would probabaly let you know. Sometimes I pretend to not remember the person when he/she says hi ,just out of the fear of a conversation. But that never works.I also do not understand the complexities involved in male-female bonding, not that I am gay or anything.To me life is not a box of choclates. My understanding of life so far is "If everything is coming your way, you are driving in the wrong lane".
Since now you know me a litlle better(or so you think) lets look at my dream gadgets.

Gadget no.1-.I believe this gadget has already made it's first cut in the movie Men In Black. I like to call it "The Zapper 2000".

Ya, that's right , it's the lil pen like thing which sends out a flash and erases your memory. I can't even begin to imagine what a life saver it would be for me. What if you are stuck talking to some boring coleague about his 3 month old baby for 15 mins? You just reach for your pocket and say "cheese" and you walk away.Come back ,crack him in the nuts and then say "cheese" again and leave.Everybody wins.No, actualy only I win.  But that's the idea I believe.
You can use this on yourself too if you need to get something unpleasant out of your head.Saw telletubbies? Walking behind a fat guy wearing sliding hip jeans? Accidentally felt a guy in the crowded train? Saw F.R.I.E.N.D.S? fear not, just take out the zapper 2000 and free yourself from the 4 nights of insomnia.But overuse on self can make you talk like a doddering oaf or even worse, like George Bush.

Gadget no 2-I believe as human beings we have come a long way understanding ourselves, how we operate.
We have gracefully accepted evolution and all the answers it offers us. But none of that understanding from evolution still enables us to understand a woman yet.We know more about the mating habits of baboons than we do about women.So I am not going to spend my time deciphering this code, instead a gadget should do all this. I like to call it the "Womanalyzer". This would be just a hi-tech pair of shades which gives you relevant details in graphical form on your shades of the woman in your vision.Just like the microsoft future gadgets . Data represented should be in 'guy terms'. I have taken the liberty to demonstrate a few.

 

 

 

No more dating game. Just wear it and pretend all is well with the world. No more trying to figure out mixed signals. Kinda like the "Lemon Law"(courtesy:Barney Stinson-HIMYM).

And if the remote chance arises that the device has misguided you, well, you can always reach for your pocket and say "cheese".

Branica Counters