GOD-no biggie
so are you for real or just a guy wearing a white sheet with a very high power lamp behind his head
no, i am the real deal,look i can prove it to you by telling you the next episode of friends which has not been aired yet
sheesh!fine fine i believe you,you don't have to scare me into believing you
haha,that one always works
so god is it true that you created everyone with your own hands?
yup,it was all me(smiles with a satisfied look on his face)
whooa! aren't you getting a little cocky there ,i mean some of your creations did suck ass.
like who(crosses his arm and asks me in contempt)?
k,how do you explain george bush,hitler and ved prakash(our limpdick incompetent prof),and this is just to name a few.
i sincerely apologize
k fair enough.so god i was thinking the other day what gives you the right to judge who goes to heaven or hell,i mean what makes you so right?
well i attend "reiki" classes for purity of mind and soul and plus i think i created you all so i pretty much own your ass anyways(gives me the middle finger salute)
k sorry ,i didn't know you were so touchy about this topic
well i am and learn to live with it
so god what do you with the other gods do to spend time around here, i mean sure,looking at white clouds and pure hearted people in heaven is a rush but still you must be doing something better
don't tell anyone bt me and the guys get together and play a game in which we guess how britney spears is going to screw up next over a round of beers and the remaining time we just watch reruns of "friends" and" beauty and the geek".
you know what,i am sorry i even asked.so god which religion according to you kicks ass i mean cristians,hindus,muslims............which one?
well i believe in the "xacitians" who worship koalas and show appreciation by head butting and eating fried tomatoes.
hmmm,might wanna go a little easy on the beer there,and a lilttle less of that friends should do you good too.
hmmm point noted
so what's hell like and can you tell us something about satan
oh ya satan's fine,nice chap,haven't seen him around lately,has been really busy for the past few centuries.last time he paid me a visit was when our mails got accidentaly exchanged.i still remember the days when we used play the britney spears guessing game together.oh,those where the days(wipes his eye)
oh! and as for hell its pretty much how it is here only difference is they have outlets of mcdonalds and dominos there.
i want to tel you something frankly,i feel satan kicks major ass.i mean sure he takes your souls and shit after you have had your wishes but what good is it after death since heaven sucks so much ass anyways.
and by the way when was the last time you got off your ass to help someone?do the words the crusades,dark ages,celiene dion,world war 1 and 2 ring a bell?wht's the deal with that?
well,you got me there but i don't have anything because i have made people who have coined stupid phrases like"god helps those who help themselves".that pretty much takes a lot of heat off me.haha,kinda feel like the CEO of a multinational company,haha.
(stern face)
so since you are god can you atleast help us by telling where osama bin laden is cos he's really messing up my "chi".
whoa! i don't want any part of this one,i will stay away from this one.man! i don't want crazy ass bush going nuclear on my ass for knowing where osama lives.if you want i can rat out enya,cher and celiene dion if u like.
thanks sherlock,but we already know about them.k then ,a couple of quick questions to wind it up for today.
shoot
is global warming a myth and if not are we screwed?
no it's not a myth and yes you all are screwed.
is the waiter from the hotel i go to evryday spitting in my coffeee?
yes.
should the rolling stones keep performing?
no
who was the bigger bitch,adam or eve?
eve
should i kill the tellitubbies?
yes
reliance or LnT?
Dunno
thankyou god for your time and"all your help"
no!,thank you!,i hope we can do this again sometime.
(ya keep hopin turd) ya sure ,bye now.
 Branica Counters |
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