IS IT A MAN!!! IS IT A WOMAN!!!, NO-its Leonardo Decaprio

The other day i ws flippin through channels relentlessly cos there was nothing worthwhile on tv as usual.Then i came across a scene on some channel where 2 girls where getting it on,so naturally i stopped on that channel.Don't judge me,everyone likes a little girl on girl action once in a while,even girls.Now mind you i was sitting atleast 4 metres away from the tv.Just when my body had started to show any signs of appreciation to what it was seeing ,on a closer look i found out what first appeared to be our regular innocent girl on girl action was more of a Leonardo Decaprio on girl action.I totally passed out cold instantly because of the trauma and fell and hit my head.(i am ok now,you guys dont have to worry)
WHO THE FUCK STILL USES HIM FOR SUCH SCENES????ANSWER ME DAMMIT!!! ,he might be a good actor but he sure as hell cannot pull of a sex scene,reason???,cos he is just too fuckin girly lookin.Come on you directors couldn't you atleast use a body double so that innocent people like me are not duped into believing something else.Dosn't matter what he does he stil comes out lookin like a nancy boy in his teens tryin to explore his sexuality by perverse methods.I am sure that we will find loads of panties n thongs n gowns in his dressing cabinet,most of which will be pink.I generally don't get pissed of with such steamy scenes when i see it in the theatre but if he is in it then i become extra cautious.Even during the movie Titanic when they where getting it on in the car i had a lot of trouble figurin out which one Kate Winslet was.So went back home and had a good bath to clean off the feeling of dirt and filth i had just seen.Its a must.
Seriously guys i strongly recommend him extradose high power testosterone shots every half an hour,that will atleast get him to a state somewhere between elton john ,an englishman and a regular heavy drinking,chainsaw loving man.



But for now i have taken the liberty to forward his name to the "international manliness detection comission"(founded in 1986) to get him judged for his manliness quotient.The RESULTS came back today.take a look.